You whined and begged and pleaded for them, and here they are, you ungrateful readers: the Swamp Camel Archives.  Thanks to you unappreciative people who demanded we make public our archives, we don't get to reuse them.

Editor's Note: These archives are not totally complete, as we're still in the recovery process.  After the laser restoration phase is finished, there will be a definite increase in articles on this page.

News

• Page One , includes
• 'Honey' to rhyme with 'Truck'
• Bush suggests new, more freewheeling approach to English language

Opinion

• Page One , includes
• Taking a Stand by Jackson Kleester (peanut butter & more)

Advice

Essays

Lifestyles

• Page One , includes
• Godzilla On the Move

This Just In...

• March 19th, 1992-This just in: Vanilla Ice, you're not cool.
• April 27th, 2002-This just in: Dick Cheney's undisclosed location: 1367 Kansas Ave., St. Louis Missouri. (shhh-it's a secret).

On this day...

• 1822-An anonymous American settler is killed by Blackfoot Indians after attempting the first "Your mama" joke.
• 1935-Franklin Roosevelt ad-libs one of his famous 'fireside chats,' uses the phrases "United States" and "Cheesy noodles" a combined four times (four of which are "United States").