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Departments
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Nonchalance increases by some percent
According to a recent survey that some college did, Americans
are becoming increasingly nonchalant.
The survey showed that younger people are more nonchalant,
especially the 14 to twenty-something age group.
“This new decade has bred more nonchalance than we could have
ever imagined,” said professor Frederick Something or Other, who
headed the survey (I think). “Ever
since James Dean, indifference has been stylish; but I am personally
very alarmed by these new findings.”
He went on and on about this, and pretty much everything he
said was probably boring.
I don’t really have a personal opinion on nonchalance- I just
think, “Whatever.” I
don’t think I’m alone on this one, either, not that I care or
anything.
In this issue
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News
As it turns out, anyone who sings "John Jacob
Jingleheimershmidt, his name is my name too," is a liar and
ought to be punished accordingly. See why: John
Jacob Jingleheimershmidt, his name is not your name too.
While you're there, find out why all of this news has to be
true, and learn some unsavory things about the Camel's
competitors. |
Opinions
Columnist Jackson Kleester voices his opinions on a few
controversial topics, such as peanut butter, in his column: Taking
a Stand. |
Advice
A plethora of guest columnists contribute to the fledgling
edition of the Swamp Camel's Advice Page. |
Essays
More than any other type of laundry, socks get lost in the
wash. Where do they go? Read
the revealing essay based on a paper based on a compilation
of alleged firsthand accounts. |
Lifestyles
Tom Demphis, the acclaimed "hillbilly poet" from
Tennessee, is known for such works as "Got Me a Lass and
Caught Me a Bass." We were able to print one of his
poems, "When I Get Mad I Cuss," by sidestepping the
whole asking for permission thing. Read
all about him, and check out his poem while you're at it. |
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