Jackson Kleester was not born in the projects of Manhattan, despite what he tells everybody. He also was not born “Down by the river where the sun don’t shine,” as he claimed on his nauseating debut bluegrass album (which consists solely of Kleester’s off-key singing and the only instrument he knows how to play-a referee’s whistle). It is believed that Kleester was actually born in a split-level house in the suburbs of Trenton, New Jersey. He moved to Holmesville, Ohio (in the heart of Amish country) when he was offered a job at Holmesville Video; but it turned out to be a hoax. Nevertheless, since he’d already paid the month’s rent, he decided to stay a while. He lives there to this day.

Although Jackson Kleester is known to consider himself a ‘Man of Mystery,’ he was voted Least Mysterious in the 2001 and 2002 Swamp Camel “Personality Awards” (a cute little fad that our editor thinks builds teamwork).